I am sitting here drowning my sorrows in the left over chocolate cake from Draycin's birthday yesterday. Today was not good. I cried my eyes out yesterday night on the way home from my family's house. I feel so empty...like someone is always missing. I am blessed to have 4 kids for only the price of two and they fill life with joy and non stop activity! You would think that I would be satisfied. The loss of the baby has been incredibly hard on me. I so wanted that baby.... from the second I found out that I was expecting.... That child was mine. I understand and trust in Heavenly Father's will, and I know that everything will turn out as it should. I still feel such a loss. It is interesting to me how life goes, and yet I still can't help but wonder if there was something that I did to cause it. I wish that it would be over with so that I would stop thinking about it. I am so grateful for a wonderful loving husband and family!! They have been so sweet and good to check on me... to let me talk, to feed me and my family meals, to watch the kids! I have really been blessed! I am so grateful for all the love, help, support and good neighbors while I have not been feeling well.
Another bite of cake and here's to a better tomorrow!
2 years ago